raising kind and compassionate kids

Raising Kind and Compassionate Kids

grow, LIVE By August 30, 2011 Tags: , , 1 Comment

One of the hallmarks of a truly great society is its capacity for compassion. History has shown us little of this, which is why we have to start raising kind and compassionate kids from an early age. Why? Because they will be the ones dictating things to the future generations.

Kindness is something that is innate, but isn’t necessarily a dominant trait in nature. You will see animals in the wild being gentle with each other one moment…then ripping each other to bits the next. Same with humans. We have to train our kids to recognize and tamp down those negative impulses, to cultivate and groom the positive ones. What are some practical ways to do this?

Animals. From an early age, expose children to animals. If you’re a city-dweller or have allergies to domestic pets, try petting zoos and nature exhibits. Visit farms. Let your children see how animals act. Let them hold and touch them (stuff washes off!). Explain that everything and everyone has feelings, and that those feelings matter. A fuzzy chick or bunny can teach a major lesson in kindness and consideration in one setting.

Talk to them like they’re important. You know the old saying, “You give what you get, you get what you give”? It’s very true. If you’re constantly talking down to, belittling, or demeaning your child, making him or her feel incapable of doing good…guess what? Eventually, you’ll have a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Model kindness. If your children don’t see you being kind, what motivation or kind of example do they have to follow? Make sure you are as gracious and compassionate as YOU can be, to show them how it’s done. You will make yourself a better person in the process of making your kids better, too.

Point out the details. Kids are, by nature, narcissistic and egotistical. Physiological and emotional development takes time, and help from a wise elder. Teach them how to note the differences in body language and facial expressions, to gauge how people are feeling—it may give them an opportunity to do something kind in the future. Explain that words can hurt just like fists can, as can social shunning behavior. If they ask something socially unacceptable in public (oh, say, like asking what is wrong with the lady who has the very large and hairy wart on her nose behind you in the bank line’s face), be calm and try not to blow the opportunity to teach a lesson in time and place.

Do Stuff. Rather than just talk about charity, practice it. If you don’t have the money to donate, help organize fund-raisers for worthy causes, donate time at soup kitchens and homes for underprivileged kids, animal shelters, etc. By putting your child literally in a situation where they can make a difference, they will feel better about themselves and it will become an ingrained habit. Tiny kids can learn this lesson by donating their toys, or any toys you provide. Even if all you can do is write a monthly check, have your child help pick the charities.

It’s a process, and should be done deliberately, because a child who is kind and compassionate has the capacity to change the world, one good deed at a time.

 

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encourage child's strengths and talents

Encouraging Your Child’s Strengths and Talents

LIVE, nourish By August 30, 2011 Tags: , , , No Comments

Of course everyone was born with talents and strengths—especially your kids, right? So how do you as a parent go about encouraging your child’s strengths and talents?

It is one thing to excel at something yourself; it is another altogether to dream about your darling baby doing something altogether special and magical. We all get a thrill out of doing something well, but parenthood expands us, adds another dimension altogether to our capacity for pride and admiration. We want our kids to succeed, make their mark, be special, but how do we do that without turning into the Tiger Mom?

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do's and don't of giving kids medicine

Do’s and Don’ts of Giving Kids Medicine

FAM, health By August 30, 2011 Tags: , , , No Comments

As much as we hate it, kids get sick. From the time they’re tiny babies and get that horrible first snuffly cold to the advent of communicable viruses and such that comes from interaction with other kids at school and playdates, your child will be sick more than a few times during their time in your care. Sometimes they don’t need much more than a tissue and a night with the dehumidifier, but other times more stern measures must be taken.

Some kids can be persuaded to take their meds easily enough, and the invention of newer, better-tasting formulas and interesting dosage methods have certainly made things easier for many parents in terms of getting Junior and Jenny to swallow their medicine. However, some kids are resolutely medi-phobic. Here is a common-sense guide to giving your kids medicine, and some do’s and don’ts of giving kids medicine.

Do’s

Give them some control. No, this doesn’t mean they get to call all the shots, but sometimes giving a child a bit of choice helps them feel less out of control. “Do you want to take this one or that one first?” or “Right now or after you’ve brushed your teeth?” are reasonable options to give, among others, depending on how often they must take the medicine and how strict the schedule is.

Supervise them. Sure, you trust your kid…but who’s to say he or she won’t just dump that little cup of liquid down the drain or spit out the pills when your back is turned? Don’t go all Nurse Ratched on them, but medicines like antibiotics and others requiring precise timing and dosage can’t be left to caprice.

Follow the directions. Always be exact about the label. If it calls for taking with or without food, or avoiding certain foods, etc., don’t scrimp.

Be Generous with Praise. If your child took their medicine, make sure you let them know how proud you are. If it won’t interfere with the medicine, even apply a bit of Mary Poppins and give a spoonful of sugar, although not literally—perhaps a Hershey’s Kiss or other small candy. Or, use a completely foodless reward and give them a gold star for good behavior, to redeem in the future for something they want. The value of a big hug and worse of praise can’t be underestimated, either.

Observe the Age Ranges. When it comes to OTC medicines, always stick with the manufacturers’ guidelines. Why? Because they are there for a reason. Kids react differently to drugs than adults do; even small quantities of certain chemicals cause no reaction in an adult but can prove dangerous to children. Generally, pediatricians advise not giving any kind of drugs, especially cold medicines, to infants under age 9 months of age or so.

Be a Good Example. Let your kids see you take your daily vitamins and/or any other pills or formulas you may take, to provide them with the idea that taking medicine is ok. However, make sure you keep your meds out of their reach, and let them know that it’s not ok for people to take each other’s medicines.

Help them Take Nasty Stuff Easier. Those nifty new film strips that dissolve on the tongue and the liquid-gels that are like fizzy candy are all the rage for allergies and such, but unfortunately not all meds are like that. If your child has to take antibiotics and other prescription drugs, they may be awful-tasting (despite the flavorings the pharmacies add) or chalky, which puts anyone off. In order to help them learn to take these, show them some tried-and-true techniques:

  1. Holding the nose. Ah, yes, this old favorite does indeed work. By following the dose with a gulp of juice or a swig of water you can cut the flavor; however, if it’s an expectorant, cough syrup or throat medicine, wait half an hour before giving liquids. Instead, have them take their medicine at the bathroom since and let them brush their teeth right away.
  2. Suck on an ice cube. By sucking on something icy for a minute or so before taking the medicine, the taste buds are numbed somewhat. Only do this with older kids, of course.
  3. Mix liquid medicine with a measured amount of yogurt or a V8 Smoothie, which will cover up the taste well and not dilute the medicine.

How to Swallow Pills. Eventually every kid has to learn how to swallow pills. Start out small: invest in a pill cutter, or carefully cut larger pills into smaller chunks, which will be easier to swallow. Have them place the pill at the very back of the throat and have them take at least 2-3 big gulps of water, while keeping their heads tilted back. While this is going on, stroke his or her throat in a repetitive, downward motion to induce peristalsis. This works well on dogs and cats, too!

Don’ts

Don’t mix medicine with food. Food changes the absorptive properties of medication, especially milk-based products. Also, you can’t be sure if they got it all if they didn’t eat the entire amount of food!

Don’t open capsules or crush pills to mix with liquids. Many medicines are time-release, meaning they need to be digested at a gradual rate, not in one big gulp. This can render the medication ineffective at best, and can be dangerous at worst.

Don’t force it. Sometimes it seems the only way is to hold them down and force them to take the medicine, but this is entirely the wrong tactic: some kids get so freaked out by this that they become hysterical and can even become physically ill, vomiting up that medicine you spent so much time and effort getting down their throats. If your child is being recalcitrant, this is the time to give them some decompression time. You have a little leeway even with medication that is rigidly scheduled; let the kid calm down, talk to them…heck, sometimes you may find bribery the only way to get it done. If so, comfort yourself in the knowledge that many other moms have walked in your shoes, and their kids didn’t turn out mass-murderers, ok?

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Around Town – What to DO with TWO

LIVE, play By August 22, 2011 Tags: , , No Comments

My twins were born in the midst of RSV season and because they were little and a bit premature, our pediatrician strongly suggested that we lay low until our two month vaccines. Added on to my three months of bedrest, this amounted to five months stuck in the house. When we finally got the ok to head out, I was thrilled. My mind raced with all the possibilities, but I quickly realized that the logistics of heading out with two babies are a bit overwhelming. In addition, every program for moms and babies that I read about, seemed specifically suited to having one baby.

If these are your first babies, you, too, may have fanticized about all the fun things that you would one day do with baby. Don’t fear, there are still many programs that can be adapted to twins and as twins are becoming more and more common, chances are these programs have accommodated twins before. Your best bet is to do some research, talk to other twin moms, talk to the people that put on the programs and try to arrange a free trial session (many programs offer a free first visit) so you can ensure that the logistics of participating with twins are manageable. Also watch that you are not being short changed because you have twins. For example, my local community centre had a music class for moms & babies. When I called about enrolling my twins, they told me that I would have to pay for two babies. After looking through the program calendar, I realized that there was a similar program for mom, baby and an older sibling. This program was cheaper than paying full price twice for the mom & baby music group I had inquired about. I called back and pointed out that they offered a discounted sibling rate for an older sibling and so it was only fair that my twins also receive this same group price. They agreed.

Here are some ideas for getting out with your twins. Most of these programs (unless otherwise noted) can be participated in (with a little juggling and a sense of humour) by yourself with two babies:

  • Mom & Baby Group – many communities have a free local mom & baby group where you can meet with other new mothers in an informal setting. Other moms are often more than willing to give you an extra hand if both babies need tended to at the same time.
  • Gymboree – Our local Gymboree class had accommodated twins before and the nice part was that we only had to pay for one baby. An exersaucer was set up for the other baby to sit behind my shoulder during circle time. Our Gymboree suggests participating with one baby for two weeks in a row and then switching and participating with the other baby for the next two weeks. This allows each baby to experience repetition of the program – an important part of the Gymboree curriculum. Call ahead to book a trial visit and let them know that you are bringing twins.
  • Salsa Dancing – This class worked well when the babies were about three months old and would still sit fairly contently in their infant carriers. I would feed the drowsier baby and put her facing the class in her infant carrier. Something about the salsa music seemed to lull them to sleep. I would then participate with the other baby in the baby bjorn. Instructors who don’t have a baby of their own, will probably offer to dance with one of yours.
  • Stroller Walking Clubs – These are often put on by professional baby program companies or local community centres – ours grew out of our Mom & Baby Group. A nice chance to walk and chat with other local moms.
  • Go to the Movies– Many theatres now have baby friendly movies. These movies are shown during the day, with reduced volume and are specifically meant for families with babies. They provide change tables and places to park your stroller. It is probably easiest if you can bring along another set of hands the first time.
  • Your local library – Most libraries have free baby programs where you can listen to stories, sing songs and meet with other moms and babies in an informal setting. These are fairly easy to participate in by yourself with two babies.
  • Community Centres – Programs at the Community Centre are meant to serve the community. They should be happy to accommodate a local mother with twins. If the program requires parent participation, often the program leader will happily use one of your children for demonstration purposes, thereby allowing both babies to get the full benefit of the program.
  • Mom & Baby Yoga – These programs are often offered by your local community centre or by professional yoga studios. This is another program where the class leader will usually be willing to take one of your babies for demonstration purposes. This program is easier to participate in with younger babies that aren’t yet mobile.
  • Baby Sign Language Courses -Our local classes are offered on a “per family” basis so no need to pay extra for twins.
  • Swimming – OK, there are some programs where you just can’t avoid the need for two sets of hands. Swimming is one of them. Luckily our local pool offered baby classes in the evening and on weekends so we were able to bring Dad or Grandma along.
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The Porsche P'4911 Baby Stroller

GEAR, style By August 22, 2011 Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

We know that we suggested the Cayenne as an excellent push present, and this Porsche P’4911 would certainly make the perfect baby shower gift.  Designed by Dawid Dawod, it’s every baby’s dream (or Dads or Moms but we can project, right?).  Carbon fiber, aluminum, leather, and ball-bearing wheels make this vehicle one of Porsche’s best.

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Jill and Tenille’s Healthy Test Kitchen Smoothie Experiment

EAT, snacks By August 18, 2011 Tags: , , , , , , No Comments

When in Chicago at McDonald’s head office, we met with Chef Dan and were given quite a lesson in how menu items are developed.  Remember that TV show ‘Just Like Mom’ (damn sexist title) where kids made different foods with a variety of crazy ingredients?  Same goes here.  Tenille (from Feisty, Frugal and Fabulous) and I had bunches of fresh fruits, veggies, yoghurt, juices and grains and were charged with creating a smoothie.  Being the health-consious gourmands that we are, we decided to camoflauge beets and spinach with yummy dark purple fruit.  Move over Jessica Seinfeld.  Here’s the lowdown:

½ cup frozen peaches
½ cup blueberries
½ cup blackberries
½ cup cooked and peeled beets
handful of spinach
handful of fresh mint
3 T. wheat bran
pinch cinnamon
1 cup ice cubes
1 cup plain yoghurt

Blend until smooth and brush your teeth afterwards, as there will be a dark purple tinge.

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