I don’t usually write rants. So brace yourselves. Last week we saw Alicia Silverstone mushing up food in her own mouth and feeding her child with a bird-like mouth-to-mouth technique on Youtube (link below). Today as I scanned Facebook, Babble asked it’s fans when their menstrual cycles returned after their children were born. (And the question received 150 comments and 41 likes within 4 hours.) Seriously? Is this a productive way to spend our time, bare our souls and reflect positively on the art of Motherhood? I think not.
I was introduced to a website recently called STFU, Parents. (You can guess the acronym). With categories such as ‘Spoiled Brats’, ‘Mommy Drama’ and ‘Bathroom Behaviour’, it is a brilliantly curated compilation of Facebook missteps by parents. The site “reaches thousands of daily readers and averages 1.5 million pageviews per month”. And no wonder. I could lose hours staring incredulously at the inane things that parents feel the need to share. I chuckle at the inappropriateness of the posts and yet I also feel sad and mortified. That there is a site like this makes a statement about our society. In my opinion, we have crossed a line where nothing is sacred to us or our children. What will Johnny think about the poop-smeared crib photo when he’s 13 and looks back at the Facebook legacy of his childhood that lives in perpetuity?
Having a laugh and feeling connected makes social media valuable and enticing. Friends joking with each other and revealing tidbits about their day is interesting and also a great way to lesson a geographical distance. But people must realize that this information is ‘out there’. Potential employers have asked recent graduates for their Facebook login information, and reputations and careers have been ruined. Posting negative or embarrassing information about your children could come back to haunt them – or potentially harm the trust within your parent-child relationship in the future.
The internet allows us to access information and have our questions (sometimes) answered without needing to communicate in person or search out a book. Information on bodily functions, sex, and other taboo dinner-table topics from reputable, research-based sites are an excellent source of information. But when I look to social networking sites for camaraderie, friendly laughs and the sharing of knowledge, I really don’t want to hear about vomit in your minivan. Nor do I want to see a photo of the placenta. And I most certainly don’t want to know the specifics of your teenager hitting puberty. The value of social media is knowledge – real information that enhances our collective experience of our world. We have incredible tools at our disposal and we are littering them with inappropriate information.
The Mouth-to-mouth feeding video.
What are your thoughts?
Awesome article and so on point.
Well said Jill! (as we all rush to clean up our fb accounts haha) Our image and brand is the thing we can hold on to, build and cherish. I hate seeing people forget that…
So very true! My husband and I couldn’t agree more. So much so, in fact, we created a website and iphone app to help parents avoid “the overshare”! It’s a free way to save and share family memories privately (especially the embarrassing ones!). Check it out at Kidlee.com.
Thank you for your “public service announcement” on avoiding parental TMI!
I think there is a balance to be struck here. I agree that forums like Facebook, which are more public than others, are perhaps not the place to be posting the overly personal things you discuss above – though I have had my guilty moments with that (I am sorry, but actual poop on a fan was a moment I thought people might find funny…until a few minutes later, when I removed the picture because I realized I did find it to be TMI). At any rate, there are websites and forums for parents who do have a need to share the inane, the disgusting and the hyper-personal information about their lives with kids, their changing bodies and so on. If a website geared towards parents invites them to talk about their cycles or tell stories about poop, I say have at ‘er. It’s especially nice when you can do so with the element of anonymity. My favourite such site is probably Scary Mommy. She has a confessions page where you can say pretty much anything without revealing your identity. We all need to know we are not the only ones stuck cleaning vomit off the car upholstery while our two year-olds decorate the garage floor with the contents of our just-purchased groceries…but yes, there must be some boundaries. Choose the right “space” and time…virtual or not. On the other side of it, I think while those offended by things posted have a right to vent, the title of the STFU Parents website is a big swing on the rude scale. Those who don’t wish to be offended might think about trying to practice what they preach.
[…] the question if it were more passive or humourous? I’m not sure. I wrote an article about over-sharing in social media and the public space. I cautioned that the disclosures of bloggers, tweeters and facebook-junkies […]