“What’s it like, being adopted?”
Not a ton of people have asked me this question, but maybe more than you’d think , and it’s really never bothered me because the answer, for me, was easy. “I don’t know,” I’d always tell people. “What’s it like not being adopted?”
“Throw away your scale.”
“Just throw it away! Never weigh yourself again.” This is one of the tenets of intuitive eating for several reasons, key among them being the notion that a “bad” weight reading will lead to disgust/discouragement, which can lead to why-do-I-even-try, which can (and in my case, will) lead to a binge. A food extravaganza.
Not everyone understands intuitive eating.
Actually, I retract that. Almost no one understands intuitive eating. I can see it in the faces of people I try to explain it to. So, what, they’re thinking – you just eat whatever you want and stay fat forever? Awesome! Good luck with that! I can see it in the face of my husband, who pretty much refuses to understand intuitive eating. “So you just get fatter and fatter until you explode,” he said to me recently. Perhaps not the reaction I was hoping to get, in response to my first published post on the subject. But, there you have it.
Sometimes I have thought that if I could have any superpower, I would want the power to eat everything I want to and have it all be a) good for me and b) not able to make me fat. This, out of all the available superpowers. Why would I want to fly? Or walk through walls? No, I want my superpower to be eating.
It is really kind of sad, if you think about it. And also possibly a tiny bit unhealthy. But, there you have it. I HAVE AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.
For those of you who haven’t heard: Bono, aka U2 songstress, has been named as one of several “Women of the Year” by Glamour Magazine. Read that sentence again, if you must. It is admittedly a teeny bit bewildering at first. But ladies, hear me out. It really does start to make sense if we just put our thinking caps on!
Well, hello there.
I have to say, it’s thrilling to finally meet you. More to the point: it’s thrilling to finally narrate one of these stories! I’m lucky to be getting away with it, I suppose, but then, Anastasia’s been busy lately, hasn’t she? What with the kids and the marital demands – and I do mean demands – there isn’t much time to pay attention to her once-ubiquitous Inner Goddess. Not that I’ve been bothered by my newfound freedom. On the contrary, I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit. You could say I’ve come into my own.
“Your child’s success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are. But, having an athlete that is coachable, respectful, a great teammate, mentally tough, resilient, and who tries their best is a direct reflection of your parenting.”
Oh, just shut up. Really.
I’ve seen this sign crop up more than a few times in my Facebook feed, and every single time I think: listen, you sanctimonious super-parent-slash-sign-maker—you are wrong, and you’re not helping anyone.
Let’s think about it, for a moment. Kids come in all shapes and sizes, and are blessed with all manner of abilities and personalities. No two children are alike, and yet, if for some reason your child is not quite coachable, respectful, mentally tough….the list goes on, then you have failed?
That’s what this sign is telling me.
I call bullshit.