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Encouraging Your Child to Read More

FAM, kids By November 1, 2011 Tags: , , , No Comments

I remember when I was a little girl, my grandparents would bring me books every week. My grandmother was a teacher, and I lived with them for long periods of time. During the summers, Nanny would bring home piles of books, and I would work my way through them. I remember sitting outside under the redbud tree and reading all afternoon, and I had such a rich and vivid internal life. I still played with other kids and got into trouble, but books were my first love. It helped make me who and what I am: a very literate person who knows a lot of stuff. I also think that by reading so many types of literature that I gained a lot of perspective, and didn’t develop so many of the ignorant prejudices that dog our kids.

If you want a child who has a great imagination, whose intelligence is stimulated, who has a real perspective on the world, encourage them to read! Studies show that a child that reads more does better in school, and they tend to succeed more in life. How do you encourage a child to read? It’s simpler than you may think.

  • Be an example. Your kids won’t read if you they don’t see you reading. Make sure they know you enjoy reading; keep books around the house, and talk about them with your partner, or with them.
  • Before you see a movie made from a book, read the book to or with them. They’ll see HOW much better the book always is, compared to the movie.
  • Read WITH them, not always to them, once they get older. I have read all the Harry Potter, Eragon, Chronicles of Narnia, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and others with my daughter. At first, I read, but now that she’s older, we take turns reading pages or entire chapters. This really encourages reading and other skills, such as public speaking (even though it’s just you) and how to read dramatically.
  • Start early. I read to my kids before they were born, and then I had a steady supply of good books from my childhood ready for them (Dr. Seuss, Where the Wild Things Are, Richard Scarry’s books, etc.). Once they’re older, let them pick them out. Make a trip to the bookstore or library a fun trip.
  • Get involved with reading in your community: book clubs, storytime at the library or local bookstore, etc. Volunteer at the library or bookmobile.
  • Start encouraging them to think about what they’re reading by asking questions about the books. Ask them to explain the plot, or what they like/dislike about the main character. How would they have done things differently? What was their favorite part? Little kids can draw pictures. Older kids can be encouraged to write their own “fan fiction”, which can continue the story in their own words, or cover things they don’t think the author covered sufficiently. You might end up with your own little author!
  • Treat books well. Make sure they have their own shelf, that they don’t get thrown around and abused. If kids treat books with respect, they’ll respect reading more.
  • Be diverse. Just because your daughter is a girl, it doesn’t mean she only needs to read romances! Encourage all kids to read fantasy, sci-fi, biographies, etc. Also, encourage the classics that they may not get at school, and explain the things they don’t understand.
  • It may sound like a bummer, but during summer months and holidays, try out a reading quota. Make sure they can pick some of the books, but you get to pick the others. There is a reason schools used to assign summer reading lists: it keeps the brain from turning to mush between sessions! It doesn’t have to be a chore.
  • If your kid gets carsick when they read, let them listen to audiobooks. Otherwise, get them an e-reader, or an e-reader app for their mobile. You’re never going to get rid of this form of reading, it’s here to stay, so you might as well go with the flow. Reading on an e-reader is better than no reading at all, right?

 

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How to Roast the Perfect Chicken at Home

EAT, family meals By November 1, 2011 Tags: , , , , No Comments

Don’t feel like you have to have attended Cordon Bleu to be able to produce a beautiful meal for your family. Cooking is a lot easier than you think, if you approach it intuitively. There are, of course, a lot of complex things involved in many disciplines (making sauces, baking, etc.), but most moms at home can make absolutely fabulous meals without too much effort. This meal, roasted chicken and veggies, is one of my favorites with the family, plus it’s super-easy to make. Seriously, there are three basic steps to the entire meal. Check our tips for How to Roast the Perfect Chicken at Home. Let’s get started! 

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Managing a difficult pregnancy

Managing a Difficult Pregnancy

FAM, pregnancy By October 2, 2011 Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

Some women breeze through pregnancies with no trouble at all, or at least they weather the symptoms with few complaints. Some women, however, have a harder time of it. There are many reasons why you could have a difficult pregnancy (as in, one rife with negative stuff), such as twins or other physical issues, but doctors honestly don’t know what a lot of them are! Regardless of the why, here are some tips on the how of managing a difficult pregnancy.

Morning Sickness…Afternoon Sickness…Night Sickness…

Most of us experienced some nausea during our pregnancies; I know during my first, with my daughter, I felt like I was carsick all the time: completely and utterly miserable, the idea of food gagged me…but I couldn’t actually vomit, which might have brought on some relief. The only thing I could manage to eat were baked potatoes, with nothing on them but a little sour cream. Then, I hit the second trimester and it changed overnight, and I could eat whatever I wanted…and I did. With my sons, I had nothing but a little nausea, nothing serious. However, some women have a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum, where they can’t choke anything down for extended times, and it can extend throughout the pregnancy. This can be dangerous, because your body and that growing baby need lots of fluids and nutrients, and persistent nausea can mess with your electrolyte levels, leading to serious complications. How to deal with it?

See your doctor. He or she will probably try to let the nausea run its course for a little while, but if you’re unable to keep fluids down, persist and don’t let the doc blow off your symptoms. They will have to put you on IV fluids and nutrients for a little while, and may prescribe antiemetic drugs to see if that reduces the vomiting. Hyperemesis gravidarum usually resolves itself by 20 weeks.

Premature Labor

Some babies just want to come out early. Perhaps you have twins, or an “incompetent cervix” or are just prone too pre-term labor. You get confined to bedrest, maybe only a few months into your pregnancy. What do you do?

Keep busy, and obey the doctor. I know from experience, bedrest sucks. Sure, you think at first enforced naptime is awesome, but then the cabin fever sets in. You may get uncomfortable if you’re further along or carrying twins (amazing how lying down can cause the back and hips to ache). You begin randomly Googling your condition, then move on to the topic of problems in pregnancy, then into the scary realm of birth defects and such…and then you’re freaked out. The only thing to do is to give yourself something constructive to do.

  • Write, read, sketch, try to work from home if you have that option.
  • Limit your internet usage—ban sites on pregnancy and anything health-related.
  • Do exercises for the bed-bound (approved by the doctor, of course), such as leg lifts, ankle circles, bicep curls, etc., to keep busy and keep fit.
  • Pick up a new hobby that keeps your hands busy: cross-stitching, knitting, and crocheting are excellent; puzzles; you can even try your hand at making models, which your hubby and boy children would love to help with.
  • Play games: keep your phone and laptop handy for solo gaming; invest in a deck of cards, a set of dominoes, and some board games to play with your family.
  • Watch movies and TV—but try to keep it lighthearted.

Body Freak-Outs

This is a catch-all category that encompasses all manner of difficulties, such as:

Hemorrhoids

  • Try to be careful when you go to the bathroom, meaning, don’t strain.
  • Sit on a pillow (yes, you may need to invest in one of those donut pillows; all the moms will understand
  • Sitz baths, hemorrhoid creams, and witch hazel soaked pads are all tremendous reliefs
  • Lie on your left side with a pillow between your knees, or sit leaning to one side or the other, not directly on your rear end.

Acid Indigestion/Gas/Heartburn/Constipation

  • It sounds like a simplistic suggestion, but it’s the most effective: don’t eat spicy foods or those that can cause indigestion, like too much citrus or acidic stuff like tomatoes or onions. Some women find that milk products aggravate their indigestion, too.
  • For gas and indigestion, avoid too many high-fiber foods that may cause bloat and gas, such as broccoli and whole grain cereals, although these are good for helping with constipation.
  • Don’t eat at night. When you eat and lie down acid can easily escape the stomach, owing to the hormones your body is secreting to relax your connective tissues.
  • Take OTC remedies like Tums, which also give much-needed calcium
  • Lie on your left side with a pillow between your knees. This not only improves circulation, it also helps with digestion.
  • Lie on your back but with a pillow in the small of your back, propped up, so the excess acid doesn’t have the opportunity to use a prone position to creep up your esophagus.
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How to Defuse Sibling Rivalry

How to Defuse Sibling Rivalry

FAM, kids By October 2, 2011 Tags: , 1 Comment

“He took my toy!”

“She pulled my hair!”

“I hate the baby! Can you please put her back?”

The cries echo through your home, each syllable grating on your nerves. At first, you try to be sweetly reasonable…but as the fighting, bickering, and whining continues and actually escalates, you not only get more shrill and unreasonable in your replies, you start seriously wondering WHY you had more than one child in the first place. If you’re dealing with an older child and a newborn addition to the family, it can be heartbreaking: they loved the baby when he or she was in your tummy and right after you brought the little bundle home. Now, once the older child has started realizing their “mommy time” has been effectively reduced, the green-eyed monster of jealously rears its ugly head.

So how do you defuse sibling rivalry?!

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The mistakes new moms of twins often make

baby, FAM By September 30, 2011 Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

If you’re like me, when you found out you were having twins, it was both a complete shock and a major adjustment to your life. My family size went from a comfort 4 (mommy, daddy, daughter, son) to a very crazy and gender-unbalanced 6 (mommy, daddy, daughter, 3 sons). But aside from that adjustment, I made so many mistakes as a mom of twins it’s not even funny. Although I had 2 kids already, I flubbed it by not thinking how different twins would actually be. So please, listen up and practice what I didn’t preach, it’ll save you time and many gray hairs!

The mistakes new moms of twins often make:

1. Not having enough stuff. When you find out you’re blessed with twins or even more, start stockpiling. Seriously. Diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, equipment…whatever. Even if the diapers and clothes are too big, take them, because your babies will grow and they will fit eventually. Shop in bulk. Go in on package deals with friends and family. Believe me, you’ll need it all. Having plenty means an immeasurable amount of peace of mind, and that’s priceless.

2. Skipping naptime. No, not baby naptime–your naptime! You need to be sleeping when they’re sleeping. Heck, sleep when they’re awake if you can! If you’re nursing, it’s especially important, because milk supply is adversely affected by poor sleep habits and stress.

3. Not having the right equipment. You may think you can skip the twin stroller, but you’re wrong. You need it. Also, make sure you have the right kind. If you can afford it, get 2: one side-by-side for wide-open spaces like for taking walks outside, and one tandem for things like shopping, where your space and maneuverability is limited. Sometimes you’ll have to take the babies out alone, and you’ve never been through the hell that is having to hold one twin while trying to drive the other in a regular stroller. NOT recommended.

4. Getting your babies confused. I confess, I didn’t have this problem that often, as far as confusing them with each other, since my boys are fraternal. However, I DID get confused, constantly, about who’d been recently changed, who was nursing when, etc. I ended up doing things like carrying around a washable marker, which I used to dab a little mark on the foot or hand of the twin that had recently been fed or whatnot. I also used the same tactic with my own breasts…juggling two boys on opposite schedules, I forgot which breast had been nursed from last…ack.

5. Being nitpicky and obsessed with perfection. Face it: your house will get dirty. The laundry will go un-folded, the dust will accumulate. Let go of your OCD-based standards, especially if you have older kids adding to the chaos. Embrace reality: your house doesn’t need to be a fashion plate. What can’t be postponed is your twins’ childhood. They’ll only be tiny for so long. Cherish every moment, which is so much more important than keeping your drapes dust-free!

6. Forgetting about yourself. What I mean is, you’re not just a mom of twins or whatever. You’re a woman, you’re YOU. Take some time to remember that. Take off the spit-up encrusted shirt and shower. Put on something pretty, even if it’s just to lay on the couch. I recommend asking hubby for a nice silk bathrobe, a short one, the kind that makes you feel like a princess…or a geisha…whenever you wear it. Shower. Brush your teeth and hair. Take a walk, see the sky, have a meal that doesn’t involve “here comes the train!” or sterilizing bottles.

7. Not getting support. This is a broad one. At home, get as much support as possible, from friends, family, neighbors, whatever. Accept any and all offers to cook, clean, carpool, it doesn’t matter. It also means, seek shelter and advice from other moms in your position. Twin resources abound, and other proud twin moms love to support each other and share their experiences and advice.

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How to Get Your Groove Back

FAM, self By September 30, 2011 Tags: , , , No Comments

I know. It’s late, you’re tired, you’re wearing scruffy old clothes..heck, you may even smell funny, because you’ve been postponing your shower since “something” always comes up at the last minute. Bed is looking mighty fine. The quiet time after your kids have finally conked out…priceless. As you head for the pillow, you feel something akin to joy at the idea of being vertical for a while. Then you look at your dear husband and you see the “come hither” look in his eyes. First thing that crosses your mind: “Is is insane??” Second thing: “Oh, no.” In roll the excuses, ranging from a fake headache (or a real one) to your stinkiness. But why?

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development milestones

Developmental Milestones: When To Be Concerned

baby, FAM By September 15, 2011 Tags: , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

So, you did it: you produced a baby. You’re understandably pleased, and you think your baby is just perfect. You rejoice in the little fingers and toes, you gurgle over every detail about him or her. You think—no, you know—that you have the smartest, most beautiful child on earth. Then, you go to the doctor for a checkup, and they tell you the baby is behind in some developmental milestone.

Perhaps she’s not long enough, or her weight is less than expected. Maybe he’s not holding his head up yet, or rolling over like the books say he should be by his age. There are a zillion things the doc can tell you at those appointments, and those developmental milestones are important, but they’re also not set in stone. Consider them developmental milestone suggestions. There are, however, some that are very important and delaying attention when these milestones aren’t reached can delay treatment that could benefit your child, should there be some kind of physical or physiological problem present.

What do you do? Do you panic? Do you shrug it off? Most doctors will tell you what things you can relax about and which you should concern yourself over, but here is some information to have in advance, to save yourself the stress if you find yourself on the receiving end of this distressing news.

1. Don’t stress out. The charts and lists of events and when they “should” happen are averages—some children reach milestones sooner than others, and some later. For instance, if your baby is a little chubby bunny, he may not roll over or walk as soon as, say, your girlfriend’s lithe little lady of the same age.  As long as the baby is healthy, according to the pediatrician, you shouldn’t be worried, even if they’re a little above or below where the charts say they “should” be.

2. Understand the Differences. One thing about those charts is that they’re not sex-differentiated, but gender does make a difference in some things. Ask your doctor and they’ll tell you. For example, girls tend to talk sooner. Go figure on that one!

3. Know the Important Milestones and Keep An Eye On Your Baby. There are some items that need to be observed carefully, though. If your baby isn’t lifting his or her head by six months, or hasn’t rolled over, or doesn’t respond to visual or audible stimuli, you need to have that investigated. It’s one thing to be a little chubby—it’s another altogether to miss major gross and fine motor milestones.

If your baby hasn’t reached these milestones by six months, see your pediatrician immediately:

  • not responsive to sounds by 6 weeks
  • has a “permanent fist” (is not opening his or her hands) by six weeks
  • not focusing on objects or following them with his or her eyes by three months
  • not smiling by age three months
  • not sitting up (supported) by six months
  • not babbling (making nonsense sounds and purposeful vocalizations) by 6 months
  • has a persistent squint

If your baby hasn’t reached these milestones by a year, see your pediatrician immediately:

  • not sitting up (supported) by six months
  • not sitting up unsupported at nine months
  • demonstrates hand preference (right versus left)  at twelve months
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How To Politely Tell Others To MYOB About Parenting

grow, LIVE By September 15, 2011 Tags: , , , , , No Comments

My friends and family all know that I’m a pretty equable person, one who is, normally, open to listen to advice and suggestions, even when they’re not solicited. However, with everyone else, I’m a bit more reserved. People who know me and my parenting/family dynamic have the right to butt in—but perfect strangers, not so much.

I’m not saying that I won’t politely accept a suggestion from another mom at the beach or the park or whatever—heck, I often solicit them! I’ll see some mom who is managing her brood so well, I will ask what her secret is. Or, vice versa, if I see someone having a hard time I’ll offer a kind word, such as to the mom in the grocery store line whose child is having a meltdown: “Don’t worry, we’ve all been there,” and maybe offer to help if I can do it without seeming too busybodyish. But criticism, or “You should do it thus-and-such-way”, type stuff is strictly verboten with me, given and received. Why? Because I’m in no position to judge—and neither are you.

However, today’s culture is infuriatingly nosy and intrusive. Part of this is owed, of course, to the fact that we put our dirty laundry out there for everyone; we blog, tweet and post about everything, and we solicit advice and we give it into the ether in the guise of sharing. I’m just as guilty as everyone else is. The difference is, I don’t butt in and try to act like an expert to someone. I’ll put my two cents in for an article, but I always try to couch my advice in the terms of “this is what works for me, it may not work for you,” and I never say I’m right, or that anyone else is wrong. That’s the sticking point.

What to do with these well-meaning yet clueless people? Well, here’s what I’ve found is effective:

Be polite: smile, nod.

Don’t engage them. It encourages it! At the most, say “Thank you,” even if you’re offended…a public fracas isn’t pretty.

If it continues, tell them, “Thanks for the advice. I’ll consider it. Have a nice day.” (You’re lying, but hey, maybe it’ll shut them up?)

Walk away.

Although, if you have a particularly snarky advice-giver, a nice parting shot may be in order, if you can think of one on the spot. It’s fun…just beat a hasty retreat.

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