You know the one I’m talking about… the one that doesn’t allow you to buy new clothes when your child is asking for a bike? The one that makes you cancel the babysitter because the baby is teething?
Or how about the one that makes you sleep on the couch when the kids have had a bad dream and there’s no room left in your bed?
Yep, that’s the one. GUILT. My Aunty asked me today if I would be happy once this Mommy Fit 2011 Competition was over. My immediate thought was silence – would I? I would certainly miss the camaraderie of the other contestants, the support of Urban Mommies, Jill and Stephanie and the absolute compassion and encouragement of Total Body Revolution and Ally. I would miss to some degree the accountability and certainly the “excuse” – “No, I’m not drinking tonight – I’m in a weight loss competition.” Mistaking my silence for discouragement my Aunty then said, “I’ll bet you can’t wait to get rid of the GUILT.” And that’s when it hit me. The guilt! That was the sick feeling I got this week when I polished off TWO highly iced cupcakes at my sister’s birthday party (and in all honesty two more the next day)! That was the tired, run-down feeling I was having when I didn’t work out enough this week! That was the frustrated feeling I had when I woke up sick AGAIN! Guilt – it can sicken you, wear you down, frighten you but it can also motivate you! I don’t like having that guilty feeling – so I need to stop feeling guilty! Therefore I will forgive myself my past offenses and move on tomorrow with renewed energy and focus to finish these last two weeks strong!
-Felicia Dewar
Oh, you are so right. Guilt is a mommy’s bad word and too often our reality. I love what you wrote.
It’s funny that as mom’s we seem to suffer from that 5 letter word Guilt too often. We seem to have these crazy expectations of ourselves which we would never expect of others. We seem to have a well of forgiveness and understanding for the people in our lives that we don’t extend to ourselves. Why is that?
Focussing on yourself can be hard. Trying to change patterns and behaviours can be difficult. But it’s almost impossible when you add guilt into the mix.
This is where you look at things and let go. So you had cupcakes, so what? The key about “treating” yourself, is to do just that. Treat yourself. Taste the cupcakse and savour it. Reward yourself and love that you’re giving yourself a treat. It’s when it turns into all those negative thoughts of failure and self-reprimand that it becomes unhealthy.
Eating things that you love is not an enemy. It may hinder your ability to get to your goals in the time that you want them, but it’s our attitude towards ourself that is our downfall.
More than anything else, this journey is about discovering what you want to do, what you can do and what your limitations are. Work within those and adjust your expectations accordingly. It isn’t an excuse to give up. Never give up on yourself.
Keep going Felicia.